It's not a lie... if you believe it - ANSWER POSTED!

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Following the established pattern of masters - I'll start a new thread for a couple of stories... and a scandalous lie.

Thanks to beast mode gamer and steak eating mafioso investor @Edge168n for the nomination.

https://www.watchcrunch.com/Eris_Goddess_of_Discord/posts/who-wants-to-play-a-game-21369

from @Eris_Goddess_of_Discord :

But it's only a couple of weeks till Christmas so tis the time for games, and I promise this one is very friendly and low on commitment! No dressing up or food products required.

While half of you go look for the 'Mute' function let me explain the game to the rest of you.

This one is called 'Lie to me'.

I basically tell you three facts about me. Two are true, one is a lie. First person to spot the lie then gives 2 truths and 1 lie about themselves and the rest of us have a go at spotting the lie again and we just keep going until we get bored or decide we know more about each other than we are comfortable with. Can be watch related or not.

EDIT: Actually, instead of the first person to get it right being the next to go I think whoever set the three facts gets to choose the next to go out of all those who gave correct answers. E.g. I get to choose who goes next from those who spot my lie.  

One note: Lots of stuff about me is way too google-able, so I'll make the challenge slightly harder by limiting stories to my Japanese life and times.  Onward!

1. One clear New Year's afternoon, while walking on a deserted beach with my family, we chanced upon a fully armoured and armed samurai warrior.  He was practising sword forms with silent grace. My reaction was swift: I grabbed the wooden crutch / quarterstaff from my daughter, held it aloft and challenged him: "Sei-sha de gozaru!".  Like Musashi of old, I quickly dispatched my opponent with the element of surprise and was cheered on enthusiastically by my proud family.

2. I was wandering along Kyoto's Kano river pathway with my young wife, we were suddenly set upon by a large TV crew, intent on getting my opinion.  Curious what I thought about Japanese onsens (public baths)… and if I was OK with the public nudity at onsens.  After explaining that I was Ok with it and liked onsens, they then wanted to know if I'd like to attend a mixed sex onsen, and if I'd be Ok with having the incident televised?

3. On only my second time in Japan, I was travelling from Tokyo southward to my girlfriend's home in Hyogo.  The high speed train made stops at major cities, and each time stopped for several minutes.  After about 2 hours of travel I took advantage of one such stop, dashing out to grab a drink from the vending machine I saw outside my window.   This time however, the train stopped for a mere ~30 seconds.  I watched with horror as the doors closed behind me and the train sped off at its insane speed.  Now, with ~2 bucks, no jacket, no ticket, no luggage, no wallet and no Japanese, I was stranded in Nowhere, Japan.  Believing this would be a days long nightmare, I was shocked when some grade seven girls with a smattering of English saved me; aggressively negotiating for me and getting me onto correct trains and to Kobe station, despite my having no ticket or ID, or anything.

Good luck y'all!

@witcher.watcher  @UnholiestJedi  @Eris_Goddess_of_Discord 
@chronotriggered  @Chunghauphoto  @Nuclear1711  @whitesalmon  @Droptuned83  @MinnKonaMike  @WatchN  @mjosamannen  @Polishmadman  @Aurelian  @Sinnguy  @tainanball  @MegaBob  @valleykilmers @HotWatchChick69 @Ichibunz @lmchew  @Stricko  
@Fiatjeepdriver @BigIona  @street.credor  @64spoons 

Feel free to forward to those I've forgotten, more merrier as always. Might have to leave up overnight as pacific time me means the much of audience is in bed for the next few hours.

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I will confidently exclaim #2 is the falsehood....largely because the last time I was in Japan, I saw very few mixed gender onsens.

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1, 2 and 3 are totally believable! 

1) I believe you may have tradecraft skill sets that include Samurai sword skills. 

2) Is just weird enough to be true. If Japanese game shows are any indicator.

3) How were you stranded in a remote city? When the Japan Railways Shinkansen has more than 340 services on average each day, with trains running every three minutes during peak hours

With stops in Shinagawa, Shin-Yokohama, Nagoya, Kyoto and Shin-Osaka. From Tokyo to Kobe station.

But only your 2nd time in country, So unfamiliar.  Okay I'll go with..Nope!

Number 3 is a lie!  

(Liar Liar Pants on Fire!) ライアー ライアー パンツ オン ファイア!

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I guess the first is a fine story, but I don't believe it.

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I think you want us to pick #1 - it seems outlandish and includes details that seem abnormal: your daughter has a quarter staff?  You would challenge a samurai (seems rude) and unlikely that you could dispatch him.  But I'm not falling for the bait - maybe the samurai was a statute or play structure.  #1 is true; #2 seems reasonable; 

The lie is #3.  Enough facts are correct: you are heading south and the train takes 3 hours.  I don't see how on your 2nd trip to Japan - you would jump off a train (w/o checking when it would leave and I don't think 30 seconds is a correct stop time.

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OMG...  I can't believe I missed all the fun.  @Eris_Goddess_of_Discord creates this amazing game, and instead of participating, I spent all day working.  F*ck work!  How dare they make me, you know, work, to earn my pay???

#1 is a lie.

#2 is definitely true, because in Asia, white people are curiosities - seen as akin to organ-grinding monkeys - so of course a TV crew wanted to film you naked!

#3 is also true, because wandering packs of feral school children are the most terrifying phenomenon in all of Asia, so of course the ticketing agent would immediately acquiesce to handing over any ticket you needed for any price, just to survive that feral pack with his skin intact

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I vote 1 as the lie too. 

I thoroughly believe you chanced upon a samurai warrior, but I think it was an epic battle lasting hours rather than a quick dispatch. I think it's the reason you now only have one hand.

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wow this is a hard one. Number 3 is so relatable so i think that one is true. 

the lie must be number 1 clearly it happend in Ohio 

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I’m gonna vote 3 is the lie, but you haven’t made this easy. 

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We just need @Fieldwalker to get up from his nap.... you know those Canadians!

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#3

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#3 is a lie, Japanese public transport doesn't stop for minutes on end! (as far as the rumors that have reached me say, I don't actually know #%@& about Japan) 

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valleykilmers

I’m gonna vote 3 is the lie, but you haven’t made this easy. 

Nice!  That’s quite a compliment 😊

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DeeperBlue

I vote 1 as the lie too. 

I thoroughly believe you chanced upon a samurai warrior, but I think it was an epic battle lasting hours rather than a quick dispatch. I think it's the reason you now only have one hand.

Thus almost makes me want to abandon the rules and award based on brilliant & hilarious reasoning 

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Mr.Dee.Bater

OMG...  I can't believe I missed all the fun.  @Eris_Goddess_of_Discord creates this amazing game, and instead of participating, I spent all day working.  F*ck work!  How dare they make me, you know, work, to earn my pay???

#1 is a lie.

#2 is definitely true, because in Asia, white people are curiosities - seen as akin to organ-grinding monkeys - so of course a TV crew wanted to film you naked!

#3 is also true, because wandering packs of feral school children are the most terrifying phenomenon in all of Asia, so of course the ticketing agent would immediately acquiesce to handing over any ticket you needed for any price, just to survive that feral pack with his skin intact

OMG can’t believe we made it this far without our favourite hot chick! 🔥🐣 .  Brilliant answer.

Now I must revise my idea about awarding based on awesome reasoning as it’s too common.  Will grudgingly follow official rules and award on first correct comment.  

BTW - yes, sod work, bad excuse. 

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Fun game! I would say, the more specific details you give, the more I feel it is a lie —> #3

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I am going with 1 as the fib

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Since we’re in no rush - I’ll torture you with silence a few more hours so other time zones can pipe in if desired.

I’m up ungodly early for work and will promptly reveal all and announce the winner then.  

Unlike @HotWatchChick69 , I‘ve got my priorities sorted and will shirk work for my ’crunch comrades once I’m up.  😃🤘

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I say 1. I've been to many beaches and never saw any Samurai.

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I want 1 to be true. 
I want 2 to be true. 
I had a very similar experience to 3 in Hong Kong. Landed at 2am and got lost on the subway at around 2:30. No cash. No clue where I was. No language to communicate in. Ended up trusting a  cab driver who drove me around for roughly 40 mins before getting to a hotel. Was sure I would be kidnapped and held for some kind of ransom. Not sure who would pay anything for me tho! 😂

Ill go 3. 

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I will go with #2 and wonder if any of you sleep.

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Numero Uno is the lie. It is the one we all wish we could do.

2 is weird but not weird enough for Japan. 

3 is just something that's waiting around the corner for all of us.

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I think it’s all lies 😜

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1, it’s one

ive been to Taiwan and 2 and 3 can happen there especially 3 bc of subway stations and traffic and also bc english is becoming popular second language there 

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Kudos to all!

The answer sheet is:

1. Yes, of course I fight the samurai I encounter.  As I mentioned Musashi, the most famous samurai, claimed his first win using a quarter staff, so I didn't feel disadvantaged.  My daughter was on wooden crutches after I had crashed when I was doubling her on my bike (classic dad!).  So, grabbing her crutch, I declared "It's me!" in old Japanese and started sparring with him.  In past, I'd been a sword whacking victim for my wife's kendo club, so sparring with decent form wasn't too hard.  After a few swings I pretend bashed him over the head.   We bowed in mutual respect and then we asked a woman in the vicinity to snap a pic of us.

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2. Japanese game shows thrive on embarrassment and awkwardness and making a funny looking foreigner embarrassed is even better.  While mixed sex onsens are not at all common, they do exist.  In this case, when wifey heard what was being planned, she leaned in and said a polite version of 'nope nope nope'  and led me away.  Depriving viewers of nutty and game for it, me.

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3. THE LIE.  All true events, but it was the experience of a friend travelling to meet us in Japan.  He got off in some small town and was literally left with nothing but the clothes on his back.  Some middle school girls travelling in the same direction became his heroes and got him past conductors and ticket windows etc. to his correct destination.  And being Japan, it wasn't too hard find his missing luggage/passport/money etc...

Congrats to the supreme logic of the victors!

@whitesalmon @bigwrist415 @valleykilmers @mjosamannen @street.credor @Gauthier @WatchN 

as first correct person to shout it out correctly - @whitesalmon is up!  Whoohoo!

As an aside, pretty much all the crazy stuff you hear about Japan has some truth in it.

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Damn it, #1 sounds way to real to be true unless photo evidence is taken, nice job you fooled all of us, nice job

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I am unbelievably happy that 1 was true. You've made my Christmas.

Awesome photos! ❤️❤️❤️

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I get mine up shortly, at work for a bit longer

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Solid stories and I'm glad 1 was true, so cool. Love the pics. 

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Just established a new thread, as mentioned I'm at work for a bit longer. I'm pretending to work on a spread sheet to get this up🥳

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Saigo Takamori of Japan is known as the last samurai, who lived from 1828 to 1877 and is remembered to this day as the epitome of bushido, the samurai code.  You left out crucial facts in your story.   You took that photo in 1870, prior to color film and cameras being developed.  I applaud you for developing a time machine to fight him on that beach.  Please don't do it again as you might destroy our timeline.  

MoeMoe Timecop Badge No: 1994