Partner ire...

Relationships and money are often a source of conflict. How you and your S/O choose to manage money is up to you. If you both work, I think the optimal solution is for each to maintain a separate account, while both contribute to a joint account. All common bills (mortgage, insurance, utilities for instance) are paid from the joint account. What you do with the money in your account is up to the person without explanation. This is best, imho, because it retains individual rewards for having worked, choice of hobbies and interests is maintained, and financial accountability is enforced while the basics of the home are not a point of argument.

Partner > Watch. If you can't talk and come to an agreement, just drop it. It's not worth the fight.

A watch is not worth stressing over. Take care of each other.

If you saved the money, then you need to find the root cause. Maybe dig deeper to better understand.

Your money.

So long as you don't make a fuss at handbag, jewellery and shoe purchases you're ok.

To be fair, when I bought the Mrs a VC it was in part to give me a get out of jail card ...

Edit: we do as above comment, money into a joint account for household etc, what's left is our own.

If you’re joking around, let us know and I can let ‘er rip with the spouse/marriage/money jokes.

If you’re serious: There is too much I don’t know about your marriage, and your marital handling of money, to offer specific advice. If you’ve never discussed how you’re going to handle money together, then you should do that ASAP (with a marriage counselor if required).

In general, it is never you versus her. It’s the two of you together working to resolve the issue. In the meantime, maybe it’s best to put the expensive purchase on hold. I wish you both good fortune.

My wife and I always “socialize” expensive purchases with each other. For watches, anything over a certain price range I always get her buy-in. Unless its a gift for her.

It’s worked for 32 years of marriage.

Must be some underlying financial concerns? House need work? Kids? Haven’t given her anything nice lately?

It's important to remember that spending thousands on a watch is, objectively, an indulgence with little rational justification that pretty much anyone who isn't an enthusiast would rightly consider to be completely bonkers. We can't expect anyone outside this hobby, let alone the partners who are directly impacted by how we spend our money, to consider it a worthwhile expenditure regardless of how long you saved for it or what else you're willing to sell off to fund it. My wife and I are pretty open about what we spend our money on and getting each other's consent when it's over a certain threshold, but even when I'm selling older watches to make room or raise money for something new, she's aware. And if she felt like our family needed that money for something more important than my next watch (for example, almost anything other than my next watch), I'd respect her and move on.

make watch purchasing a couples activity. if she doesn't like watches, maybe she likes something else, that you don't like that you would have a conversation out of it, and learn about why she likes that handbag, or maybe that bracelet, or why she likes her nail polish or something.

it's really healthy that way

This is very good advice offered by Barabus => "find the root cause".

Yup, that. You may be just assuming she gives you grief because of money spent on something silly like a watch - but could be something else entirely. Just ask the question: ‘why is this a problem for you?’ Most complaints have their origin in valid concerns - and most of the time are a lot less self centered than they may appear initially..

Everyone is different and circumstances change situations,I don't live with my partner but we discuss everything including purchases,but in the end its only advice given between us I'd never tell her not to buy something and she wouldn't me,and me personally if we lived together as long as you're contributing and are sound financially ie you buy the watch and can still afford to pay bills and live no one should be telling you what to spend your money on,you did it you would be labeled controlling 😂🤣an even though I've given it don't ever take anyone else's advice when it comes to your relationship because know one else is emotionally invested in it,and enjoy your knew watch 🤣😬

I've found there are moments in time when such purchases work without friction and you need to arrange certain variables for it to work. First, socialize your intent/interest/plan well in advance. Let her know it is something you are working towards. Then look around you. Is the kitchen table in need of replacing? Is the couch a little outdated? Is there painting that needs to be done? Most importantly for women if you have kids together is there is anything somewhat urgent the kids need? Have you spent a little money on her? Etc. You then identify any of these things and take care of them first over time while you are also saving for your purchase because they will be irritants if they are not taken care of at least to some degree before you make your hobby purchase. This is the way to a happy home while also having some things you enjoy.

Careful. When she goes she’s taking the watches or half at least. Those half watches don’t work so well. Haha

It's vitally important to make your partner feel that their concerns are listened to and that their feelings are respected and valued.

Buying a nice watch is fun, but the new watch feeling will fade and it will just be another nice watch in a box of nice watches. But knowingly doing harm to your relationship will hurt you and people you care about in ways that are much more lasting than the pleasure of getting one more watch.

Just give her some time, and if she is in a good mood, you two might be able to sit down and talk. She may be dissatisfied for other reasons or be considering your best interests. The key is communication; don't worry, I'm sure everything will work out, so good luck!

You won't like hearing this, but it's maybe a reality check. People in a healthy relationship don't crack the shits over stuff like this. People in healthy relationships respect that the other person is an adult and can do what they like - especially with their own money. I'm not saying it's time to move on, but maybe it's time for some 'real talk' with the SO that you're an adult, using your own money, to pursue something you want.

Point out that, if the roles were reversed, you would be supportive of them (assuming that's the case?!), so respectfully, they need to back off, calm the farm, whatever it takes, and treat the relationship more respectfully and not like something they saw on a soap opera once. It's not how real life is meant to go.

And if that doesn't work, give them one last chance. Ask them if you buying a nice present for yourself, with your own money, is really the hill they want the relationship to die on. Defend your corner, basically.

Surprise her with something she loves...chocolates, flowers, etc.

Let her know she's more important to you than any material object 😉

If I responded like that, I might get served papers… 😉

Be careful about taking advice from random strangers on the internet, myself included. Everyone's situation is different, and you're the only one qualified to determine what is right in your own personal circumstances, both in terms of your financial situation and your relationship with your partner. As @citizengray has mentioned, there is a huge difference between having the money for something and truly being able to afford it. Money spent on a watch is money that isn't available for other things, so if there are several other ways that the money could be more wisely spent, your partner may have some legitimate concerns. If the real issue is simply that your partner would rather spend that money on something for herself instead, that's considerably different.

Hey, you budgeted for it, sold some stuff, to be able to buy it. Then, likely, you'd be done buying for some time. Just do it. Better to beg forgiveness than ask for permission. If you worked for it, you deserve it.

That being said, if you have other, more pressing obligations, you know where your priorities lie. But if she's just mad because you are not spending it on her, just do it. As someone who married a very headstrong woman, I have learned to stand my ground. If I read it right, you've conscientiously saved for this. What's the worst that will happen? If you have worked and saved, and she makes you abandon this, you'll only resent her for it.

I got a good bonus last year. I let my wife talk me out of what I wanted and frittered away on other stuff I didn't want to do. At the end of it, she said, I didn't tell you how to spend your bonus. I resented that.

This year, I surprisingly got a big bonus and told my wife upfront. I am buying a watch. Get that through your head. I could have spent Rolex money but didn't. I have bought 2 watches I really love and am getting a third. Somehow, I still ended up buying my son another vehicle. Sigh. I hope you get what you have been saving for.

This is exactly what my missus and I do. The same contribution to a joint account every month that takes care of the house, bills etc. Then what she does with her money is up to her, and what I do with mine is up to me. She doesn't quite understand my thing for watches, but has never complained about me buying one or tried to talk me out of it. I don't tell her what she can do with her money either. And we've never had a row about it. It's the way forward.

Share the passion. Ask her what type of watch she likes and surprise her with one.

I bought my husband a few watches he really likes. Now we do watch-talk together.

If you’re both saving for a house and future together, then you already know what to do. If those bases are covered, she should be happy you’re saving for your passion (maybe she’s already bought you one and surprising you).

If it isn’t going to impact you financially and you’ve saved up, then crack on and let her sulk 😂

Thanks Barabus. Sage advice and time for us two to chat.

Thanks everyone, you've made me feel a lot better and it's opened up the two of us to talk about this and hopefully be the better for it.

Mere

I don’t have a partner. Sorted.

Buy her jewellery or a nice bag, it did the trick with mine lol