How Owning Your Sex Appeal Can Keep You Safe From Rolex Rippers! And a belated Happy Birthday to me! (Who is this?)

If you are thinking...

.... and I wouldn't blame you, as I did ghost you all about 3 months ago, here is a short but accurate bio...

Essentially, I communicate almost exclusively in GIFs and memes, my horological tastes are questionable, I would class my watch knowledge and expertise as "I can set the date and time... as long as it's not a digital", and my posts are only barely watch related.

If this sounds of interest, then please read on and let me explain how your pure, raw, watch-nerd sex appeal can keep you safer than anything they could teach you in that Krav Maga class.

I have talked about this topic before, but like any good public service announcement, it deserves reiterating.

I'm doing gods work.

So, let's get to it...

ONE EASY TRICK TO KEEP YOU SAFE THAT THE ROLEX RIPPPERS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!

It's a common situation that I have seen a few posts on over the years: "I'm worried about wearing my Rolex/Patek/Trolldeep on my vacation to X big city. What do I do??"

Frequently, people, who mean well at heart, will suggest wearing your lowest cost watch when venturing abroad, stating that wearing an expensive watch is just an extra worry, and trying to spread the idea that "It doesn't matter what watch you take, it's the memories you make while you're there that count!"

Others will suggest keeping your watch descreetly hidden from view under the cuff of your shirt because "Only you need to be able to see your watch, not everyone else!"

Lastly others will suggest there is no need to take your Seamaster or Explorer on holiday, because "Taking the stairs to the hotel rooftop bar does NOT require the same watch as Edmund Hillary and you are NOT James Bond." I hope these kinds of people don't darken your world often, and we all know the correct response to these...

So what is the real answer?

Simple.

You need to own your natural, red-hot, watch-nerd charisma and let the power of psychology work it's magic.

You need to wear your fanciest, bling-est, most golden and diamond encrusted time pieces with the massive levels of self-confidence, charm and good-looks that the powers above bestowed on all us classy watch-nerds.

You need to go all out and act like this guy...

Now, I know you're thinking...

But bear with me...

Picture the scene... you're walking around that risky city area, wearing your favourite outfit (that one that makes you look like a certified snacc) and your most hottest watch....

You get spotted by the bad guys....

Now... they are going to see your fine self there, looking THAT good in THAT dodgy an area, and they are going to think one of three things....

1) It's a Honey Trap

Why would anyone so tempting put themselves in such a vulnerable position? It has to be a police trap and if I attack this guy/girl I'm going to end up on the next series of Police Interceptors or in one of those "Dumb thief gets tasered in the b*lls trying to steal watch!!!" YouTube videos.

And your would-be theif will think...

2) You are a Gangsta's husband/wife

If you are brazenly and unapologetically parading yourself around the rough city areas without a care in the world, then obviously you must have protection they don't know about.

If they think you are sharing a bed with the equivalent of Griselda Blanco or Tommy Shelby, and presuming they like their fingers actually attached to their hands and their eyeballs to remain inside their sockets... They'll reconsider how much they actually want that watch after all...

3) You're bat-s**t crazy

As I've always told my kids, the way to stay safe from the monsters under the bed is to be the scariest thing in the room (follow me for more parenting tips).

The same principle applies here.

Surely only a crazy person would actually risk walking around this area looking like that?

It's always the hot ones that are secretly all...

...on the inside.

If I go try take their Rolex are they going to inject me with Rohypnol and make a watch strap from my baby soft butt-skin???

So, you see my gorgeous friends, let psychology work in your favour and feel safe wearing your watches with confidence!

You're welcome.

***Random aside:***

Well... my life has been a bit of a sh*t show over the past few months! A number of things have taken a lot of my time and energy, and action here and over on the TER blog has been minimal!

I have occasionally been logging on and I've seen the lovely messages folks have sent me and when people have tagged me in posts. I'm very, deeply humbled that I am remembered!

@GasWorks @Aurelian , @Porthole , @Whitesalmon @Mr.Dee.Bater , @casiodean , @Mr.Santana @celinesimon @Adi365 , @Edge168n @BigIona , @Watchovski , @Chunghauphoto and others who have messaged me over the past couple of months to check in.... you really are the kindest bunch. Even though you didn't have a clue why I'd needed to back away from WC and writing for a while, you were all still around sending good thoughts in one way or another, and it's been really appreciated.

I still have a lot going on in life (you wouldn't believe me if I told you!), so I will likely be a lurker on here mostly and supporting my lovely friends over on TER too. I am overjoyed that @Mr.Santana and @casiodean have taken up the mantle of a weekly post and photography club, as not being able to run those any more was making me feel massively guilty. You guys are awesome!

It is mostly @Aurelians fault that I'm back posting at all, as he has been the one gently and kindly poking me to for the past couple of months, for which I am grateful.

I also need to do a MASSIVE belated THANK YOU to all the lovely lovely people who put together my little present package last month.

@Whitesalmon sent this beautiful 'Watch Crunch green' Seiko to our resident master watchmaker and refurbishment expert @GasWorks , who gave it 5* treatment and I am utterly blown away by it.

Add to that the beautiful bracelet gift from the @Watchovski clan...

... a stunning watch wallet crafted by the very hands of @Whitesalmon !...

and these two stunning straps and keyrings from @jericho!.....

Add to this all the wonderful lovely cards and keepsakes sent from my fellow Crunchers (@SpecKTator , @Mr.Dee.Bater)! They are all massively and deeply appreciated.

Plus, look at this AMAZING official/unofficial WC watch crafted by the talented @Mr.Santana which I received a couple of weeks ago, which is infinitely cool and beyond my expectations!

You have an absolute gift for design and watch building Sir!

There is nothing else to say.

You guys are the utter best.

Much love to you all!

Now... tell me everything I've missed!

((Blooper reel:

I asked AI to create "A picture of a man walking down the street trying to hide his left wrist" to use for this post. This is what it gave me....

I mean ..... It's not wrong.... his left wrist is hidden behind the terrifying fact he has TWO RIGHT WRISTS!

I think we are safe from AI taking over the world for a while yet))