Your actual SOTC versus your ideal SOTC... AKA, what's holding you back?

The above photo is my collection. I really like my collection...  It’s a beautiful collection…

You just knew there had to be a “but," right?  

But, somehow, it doesn’t feel perfect to me.  There are too many watches in this collection.  It’s overwhelming.  I mean, there are 12 watches!  That’s way too many!  You know what the scientifically proven correct number of watches in a collection is?  It is 7.  Why?  Well, you rotate 1 watch per day of the week.  

So, lately, I’ve been sitting around day dreaming about my perfect collection.  It would span all lug widths from 19 - 23mm.  Why?  Well, I got a bunch of straps that I really like, and gosh darn it if I’m going to be wasteful and not use them durned straps!  The collection would cover a variety of styles, so that each day I rotate I feel as though I’m putting something unique on my wrist.  

Sunday

I am a man of god, and as such, I attend church on Sundays with my family.  We go to a UCC church, which stands for "United Church of Christ,” but everyone there calls it by its real name, which is “Unitarians Considering Christ.”  It’s one of these super open, super accepting, super “whatever you believe is beautiful, man” churches.  Kinda like this…

To show my devotion to a god I don’t believe actually exists - seeing as that the universe is nothing more than a simulation - I would choose the GS SLGH005 White Birch.  

What other watch dial could more perfectly reflect the-god-that-I-don’t-believe-in’s glory and splendor?

Monday

The start of the work week sucks.  Recently, I got a promotion I didn’t want, and my life has been hellish since.  It’s a convoluted story.  Once upon a time I hired a dude right out of law school, and being trained in law, he knew nothing about financial modeling, software, etc., etc.  But, he was awesome, and I was able to very quickly teach him everything I know, and soon he was 100x better than me at everything.  In the years since we worked together, he went on to do big things, while my career has been one long sad story of decline and failure.  One day, big boss executive at Big Tech company tells him to hire someone with A, B, and C experience.  He goes to a mutual friend and says, “The only people who have that kind of experience are my mentors that I used to work for.  None of them would ever report to me!”  Our mutual friend says, “Nah, man, give @HotWatchChick69 a call!  He just got fired from his last job, and he’s been sitting at home playing a bunch of Xbox.  He’d do it in a heartbeat!”  So, he calls me up, offers me the job, and I say, “But, dude, I’m old and useless now.  I can’t really work anymore…  mostly because I’m lazy.”  He says, “Oh, no worries.  Nobody works in Big Tech.  I do like 2 hours a day, and I probably work more than 99% of people here.  Your job will entail me coming to you like once every couple of weeks to ask you how to do such-and-such, you explain to me and the team what to do and how to do it, and then we’ll go off and execute.  Otherwise, your job is to watch YouTube.  That’s it.”  So, for the past 2 years, I been putting in like 30 minutes of work every 2 weeks or so, and otherwise all my time is spent on Netflix and Youtube!  Unfortunately, he recently decided to leave, and I had to take his role, and now I run the team!  And I gotta do like 2 hours of work a day!  It sucks!

So, Mondays I think I would wear the SBGM247.  

It’s green, which I love.  And it’s a GMT!  And, well, I don’t know how to use a GMT, but if I did, I would use its functionality to keep track of what time it is in India, where we have teams of engineers, who I never talk to, because that would entail me actually getting into the details of work…  which, because I’m lazy, I don’t do.

Tuesday

Having exhausted myself with work on Monday, I’d need something to help me relax.  What’s more relaxing than the smooth sweep of the Spring Drive seconds hand as it passes over the rippled surface of Lake Suwa on the GS SLGA007?

Wednesday

If I’m daydreaming of Lake Suwa, I gotta then put on my dive watch!  

The GS SLGA015 is the perfect tool for diving down 200m to the bottom of Lake Suwa to do battle with the Plesiosaur living there, widely known as the Loch Suwa Monster.

Thursday

Breitling was the first brand I was really smitten with.  But, both the Premier B01 and the AVI Ref. 765 1953 that I purchased new broke within 1 month of ownership!  After that figured that maybe Breitling just wasn’t for me.  (Also, I got kicked out of a Breitling Boutique, where the sales associate literally yelled in my face, “No!  We will not work with you!”  But, that’s another story entirely.)  My third Breitling was the Aviator 8, and I sold it along with the others, but I’ve deeply regretted it ever since.  By far the most beautiful Breitling in my eyes, ETA 2824-2 movement so it’ll last forever and be easy and cheap to service, 41mm diameter, 10.7mm thick, 100m of WR, incredibly comfortable on bracelet and strap, and that friction bezel!!!  So silky smooth!  It’s so satisfying to play with - it’s an adult fidget spinner.  Need this watch back in my life.

But, since I am paring down my collection, and have vowed never to buy another watch, I guess instead my primary pilot watch will be the SBGC249.  

It’s not a pilot watch.  It’s just a glorified Casio Edifice.  But, I gotta keep it if for no other reason than to burn the eyeballs of all on-lookers.

Friday

The GS SBGJ255 got zero attention when it came out.  Everyone was smitten with the Mistflake and the different new Birch watches.  But, the SBGJ255 is an absolute overlooked gem, in my estimation.  It’s got the beautiful 44GS case in titanium - the darker hue of the titanium is absolutely gorgeous!  And for everyone who complains about the lack of lume on GS Heritage line watches, this watch has awesome lume!

Even though it’s a GMT and GMT’s are used for work, I guess it’s appropriate for Friday because then I can look down at my wrist and think to myself, “Good thing I don’t actually ever have to know the time zone anywhere else in the world, because I have no idea how to use the GMT hand on a GMT watch!  But, that extra GMT hand, with the lume on the tip, is gorgeous!”

…  Oh…  oh, no…  I just realized something.  I can’t have this watch in my ideal collection.  I’m missing a 21mm lug width watch, which would mean that a bunch of straps would go unused!  And we can’t have that!  So…  I would have to break my rule about not buying any other watches, and go get the Omega Worldtimer…

... which I used to own…  but sold off because it didn’t fit right, because I didn’t know that you could, you know, put straps on watches instead of just wearing them with their bracelets.

See why this hobby sucks so much?  You buy watches, you sell them, and then you buy them again.  And each time you waste more and more of your money doing so!

Saturday

Finally, Saturday is for rest and relaxation, and that’s what the King Seiko SPB179 is for.  The finishing on this watch is OUT OF THIS WORLD GOOD.  It’s as good as the finishing on any of my GS’es!  But, because it’s got the 6R31 movement, everyone poo-pooh’s it, and you can get a new one off Chrono24 for something like a third of what you’d pay for a GS!  It’s an absolute strap monster!

So, that’s my ideal collection.  I daydream all the time about selling off a bunch of my current collection and paring it down to these 7.  

And yet…  I never lift a finger to do so.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because every time I think about selling any of my existing collection, this is what happens…

inb4 the obligatory…

Or, maybe what I do is just buy 2 more watches, and that way I get to a total of 14 - which science has proven to be the second best number of watches in a collection?  Because, you know, that way, every watch is rotated once every two weeks?

Are you like me?  Do you know what you should be doing with your collection, but somehow incapable of putting your plan into motion?  What is your ideal collection?  And do you need some Shia to motivate you?