Does your significant other ever guilt you about money you spend on watches?
Title is a pretty straight forward question.
In my case I have been funding my watch obsession by selling off stuff I have been keeping in the house because it's too valuable to donate and not a good fit for selling in the annual neighborhood garage sale event. Things like Magic the Gathering cards, old camera lenses or other gaming memorabilia.
With the work I have put into selling things I have accumulated both a decent collection of watches and a nice little slush fund. Nothing I have purchased would be called a luxury watch but a decent little collection none the less. It keeps my hobby from affecting the family budget which seems to have until recently a pretty good trade off. My closet space increases by exchanging storage boxes for watch boxes.
But recently my wife has been hinting that she would like me to share this bounty. I feel it's a bit unfair as I agree to spend the family budget on things she wants (but don't always need) with little to no argument from me like Disneyworld vacations (2 this year) and a dog that I never wanted. I should add that I am willing to contribute to family costs with this money - when our water heater exploded and we were facing a $6k bill for replacing it with a tankless water heater that money came from selling Magic cards.
It's really starting to become an issue for me - that my success in selling of treasures from my youth has started to become something she wants a part of.
Anyhow <end rant> and thank you for attending my TED talk.
Back to the bigger question; how do all of you navigate this issue with the other stakeholders in your house?
More from pyehole
I take care of my family, tithe, bills and other responsibilities first. Leftovers end up in my slush fund (which is sometimes used on watch purchases, among my other interests). It’s never been an issue for me.
I hope you and the wife can work this out. Communication is one of the most important things in any marriage.
Firstly, maybe you guys should sit down and have a talk about it. Wouldn’t want this to become a bigger thing and hinder your relationship.
My wife and I go under the philosophy that we each can do what we want with our discretionary income. Once we give the appropriate portion to each expense (bills, savings, etc.) there is no issue spending on our hobbies and interests
Setting clear boundaries and ‘rules’ on your finances as a couple is extremely important for longevity.
Just my 2 cents!
Probably best for you two to work it out and not solicit advice from us. We don’t know anything but our own stuff. Hope all the best for you and your family.
Probably best for you two to work it out and not solicit advice from us. We don’t know anything but our own stuff. Hope all the best for you and your family.
Oh, that's how it's gonna work - talking it out. I just wanted to rant a bit and ask whether others find themselves in the same situation.
I would also suggest to talk it out, but not about the watches, but about how you dislike family decisions that you are little part of. This can lead to frustration and a growing lust for a hobby or private life where nobody has the right to decide for you.
She jokes about it. I don't know if it's my secret sauce but I bring her into all my hobbies and random things I like. Just like I do the same for the stuff she likes. For example I would buy a 400 dollar watch. Three months later she likes some shoes or some hair electronic I just grab it and buy it. I tell her if I can buy a watch for me I can buy these shoes for her. Or as soon as I hear I think I need new (insert item here) I always say cool make it a date and we go buy it this weekend. She's pretty supportive at longest I don't blow the rent, bills, savings, 401k etc. on watches.
I would never dream of jumping into anybody else’s marriage issues, I’ve got enough of my own. That said, I hope this works out for you (and that you get to keep collecting watches).
She's got something else in mind for that money.
She thinks you have enough watches.
I haven't had any grief from my wife on what I've spent on watches, but that's because 1) I don't buy watches that cost thousands and 2) she is a great wife that sees I hardly ever spend money on myself.
My Mrs is as addicted to watches & as irresponsible with cash as I am - a perfect partnership 😁
(Both older, so responsibilities have grown up and gone & very little monthly bills due to age)
Disneyworld, omg, the horror!! I would get a divorce 😂
HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!
I stopped asking permission to do things when I was 13. At the same time I learned to be responsible. I apply both of these principles at all times.
HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!
I despise this expression. It completely devalues husbands and their wants and needs. I prefer “Happy spouse, happy house.”
That notwithstanding, my wife and I each, thankfully, have jobs with solid earnings. We both max out our 401(k)s annually to ensure we’ll be OK for retirement and then pour all of our take home money into a common pot, joint ownership. It allows us to ensure that we can handle anything we need to deal with on an as needed basis and that we don’t incur any debt that we can’t pay off on a month to month basis (other than the mortgage - which gets paid monthly, but not paid off). Once the bills have been paid, anything and everything unused goes into savings. From there, we can keep track of our balances and determine whether we can splurge on wants after our needs have been met. This means that vacations and watches are the lowest items on the priority list, but that we can ensure that we have enough money to play with while still sleeping soundly at night. The wife typically gets the vacations that she prefers at least once annually (we generally have a cruise booked at all times) and I get a luxury watch ($3-5K) once every five years or so.
We might not be rocking the latest high-end luxury cars, especially with some of the stuff I see on a regular basis in my corner of South Florida, or flying in a private plane, but we’re lucky and fortunate enough to be leading a very comfortable life for the two of us and my daughter.
I despise this expression. It completely devalues husbands and their wants and needs. I prefer “Happy spouse, happy house.”
That notwithstanding, my wife and I each, thankfully, have jobs with solid earnings. We both max out our 401(k)s annually to ensure we’ll be OK for retirement and then pour all of our take home money into a common pot, joint ownership. It allows us to ensure that we can handle anything we need to deal with on an as needed basis and that we don’t incur any debt that we can’t pay off on a month to month basis (other than the mortgage - which gets paid monthly, but not paid off). Once the bills have been paid, anything and everything unused goes into savings. From there, we can keep track of our balances and determine whether we can splurge on wants after our needs have been met. This means that vacations and watches are the lowest items on the priority list, but that we can ensure that we have enough money to play with while still sleeping soundly at night. The wife typically gets the vacations that she prefers at least once annually (we generally have a cruise booked at all times) and I get a luxury watch ($3-5K) once every five years or so.
We might not be rocking the latest high-end luxury cars, especially with some of the stuff I see on a regular basis in my corner of South Florida, or flying in a private plane, but we’re lucky and fortunate enough to be leading a very comfortable life for the two of us and my daughter.
I don’t know, it is a catchy phrase but neither my wife and I give it much weight. We solved our small issues ages ago and when my wife wants to spend a weekend in Paris to pick up a shoulder bag with a nice trip included we just book the flight. Appreciate the comments.
Oh yeah, she does! 😂 I gifted her my Baltany D12 Quartz and she loves it. No comments since then. 😂
We're watch nerds, we're probably going to give you a bucketload of watch-related advice that probably won't help much.
But talk with her. I agree with you that it's your money which you have made sacrifices for and I believe you should be entitled to spend that money however you please. Not everyone can understand that. Try and find common ground and talk to some good friends (who aren't in the hobby) about it and see what they think.
My best wishes; I hope it goes better!
😂
If you want my $0.02, I tots agree with you. If I sold my time trial bike I'd get a chunk of change that I could directly turn into a watch worth a few thousand. I'd expect no grief: both bikes and watches are my hobbies and there is no net loss for the family budget!
Now for some weirdness : my wifey should probably guilt me more that she does, which is zero. 😮
I guess since I'm the only source of income in our house, I have free reign to dump money at a watch I don't need (but crave like meth🤤 ) as long as I cover all other household stuff. The little devil on my shoulder never says "save more for retirement!"
Fortunately , my wife doesn't know how much my watches cost. Especially since it's only a 3 watch collection with the 4th being a gshock that she bought me. Not to mention, it's only the 2 of us. Everything is paid, so it all works out.
Firstly, maybe you guys should sit down and have a talk about it. Wouldn’t want this to become a bigger thing and hinder your relationship.
My wife and I go under the philosophy that we each can do what we want with our discretionary income. Once we give the appropriate portion to each expense (bills, savings, etc.) there is no issue spending on our hobbies and interests
Setting clear boundaries and ‘rules’ on your finances as a couple is extremely important for longevity.
Just my 2 cents!
We do exactly this.
We have his, hers, ours. We totaled everything it takes to live and pay those things out of our shared account. We each pay equal amounts into the shared account monthly. She comes home with useless crap all the time, and I'm sure she feels the same about me. But its our personal useless crap.
If you're in a single breadwinner household, its going to be different.
Disneyworld, omg, the horror!! I would get a divorce 😂
Might as well visit Pedoland.
Im not very good at the mariage thing...and I have trhe paperwork to prove it! LOL..but that being said..My current wife doesnt seem to mind at all. My bills are paid and she is not want of anything..
I despise this expression. It completely devalues husbands and their wants and needs. I prefer “Happy spouse, happy house.”
That notwithstanding, my wife and I each, thankfully, have jobs with solid earnings. We both max out our 401(k)s annually to ensure we’ll be OK for retirement and then pour all of our take home money into a common pot, joint ownership. It allows us to ensure that we can handle anything we need to deal with on an as needed basis and that we don’t incur any debt that we can’t pay off on a month to month basis (other than the mortgage - which gets paid monthly, but not paid off). Once the bills have been paid, anything and everything unused goes into savings. From there, we can keep track of our balances and determine whether we can splurge on wants after our needs have been met. This means that vacations and watches are the lowest items on the priority list, but that we can ensure that we have enough money to play with while still sleeping soundly at night. The wife typically gets the vacations that she prefers at least once annually (we generally have a cruise booked at all times) and I get a luxury watch ($3-5K) once every five years or so.
We might not be rocking the latest high-end luxury cars, especially with some of the stuff I see on a regular basis in my corner of South Florida, or flying in a private plane, but we’re lucky and fortunate enough to be leading a very comfortable life for the two of us and my daughter.
I mentioned the comments that my use of the over used phrase generated to my wife over our morning coffees and morning paper today and she agrees with you 100%, lol. I should add that we are an old married couple, I am somewhat retired but she is still a respected director in finance mostly working from home. We debate even argue about everything but not about money!
Yea. But that part of the fun. It’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission 😊😊
Happy wife, happy life. Share the slush fund with her.
Dude, you're married. She is a part of it.
Just tryin' to keep it real. I normally wouldn't get involved in something like this, but you asked! 🤣
Your issue is a marriage issue and bigger than the lot of us to really comment on. You know your relationship best. On the one hand I think it's fair to expect in a loving relationship to share your fortunes together and not hoard it all. It doesn't sound like you're doing that, so that's great! On the other hand I don't think it's fair and that she should be eyeing and expecting you to share the majority of it or more than you're comfortable with. It's time for a sit down conversation that may be uncomfortable but needs to be done. This is only going to fester otherwise. Good luck! 👍
My family will always came first. Watches aren't worth the issue for me. That's my opinion only. With that being said my wife doesn't have any issues with me buying watches and I don't have any issues with her planning vacations.
All the time, especially if multiple packages arrive at the same time. 😭
If your responsibilities are met and you sell your stuff, that money is yours. But discretionary income has to be agreed upon. If you are saving towards a goal, make that intent known early. Life throws you curveballs and you may have to raid the war chest. If she's reasonable, things should go swimmingly. If she's unreasonable, well, we could be married to the same woman. 🤪
I would say she's mostly reasonable. This post was the pre-conversation rant for me to calm the emotions so I don't screw up the conversation. I think when I point out how much the dog is costing me...the discussion about where her discretionary funds are coming from will be easier to have. And unlike my watch money that comes out of the family budget.