Ridiculous things we say about our watch collecting? GO!

At what point in the boost phase of a flight do you change from “earth” chrono to “space“ chrono?

A conversation I had today.

Me: "I could buy the $600 Seiko but the $5000 Grand Seiko is just such a better value."

Wife: "What is the value of a watch except for telling the time? Did I miss somewhere that they both don't tell the time?"

I think you're thinking too narrowly.  We need to have a low earth orbit chronograph.

No, they are NOT all the same. Grab the loupe, and you’ll see what I mean.

Those watches? Those aren't watches; those are toys. They don't count as watches. 

These watches? Yes, these watches are watches, but they were from my learning phase. They arent part of THE collection. 

Not wrong!

"My watch collecting journey."

I have used such a phrase and I loathe myself for it. It is not a "journey". It is the confluence of too much free time and too much disposable income. We do not find enlightenment at the end of our "journey", we just have many watches that all do the same thing just about equally as well.

"On my baseball card collecting journey I was only a Woodie Fryman away from a complete set of the 1978 Expos."

"My can collecting journey began, as so many do, with an Olde Frothingslosh (the pale stale ale with the foam at the bottom)."

Calling it a journey is a cheap way to ennoble an essentially selfish endeavor.

I sit upon a hoard of watches.

(For the record my beer can collection has resided in my parents' attic since 1981 and it contains an Olde Froshingslosh.)

Sometimes I worry about wives, their brains don’t seem to work quite right. 

I’m sorry, where was that you were sitting?

My beautiful and talented wife, who is remarkably tolerant of my insane hobby, also has a way of casually dropping penetrating questions that make you question everything you've ever done or believed.

So things get very funny in my house when I start thinking about buying new watches.

Now I'm trying to calculate how to divide my number of "watch collections" into as small sounding a number as possible.

Ridiculous? There is nothing ridiculous about owning more than 20 watches when I only have a single wrist on my left arm. Beside, I can stop anytime I want, really.

The other day someone at the office asked me how many watches are in my collection, and the snob elitist part of me actually said, “Are you asking how many I think of as actual watches that are actually part of my collection or are you asking me how many friendship bracelets I have lying around that can tell time?” Ugh. I hate myself sometimes. 

What's the big deal? I have multiple watches. I also have multiple pairs of pants! I don't say I'm a pant collector.

Me: "I have too many watches. I will only buy a new watch of it replaces an old one!"

Wife: "You just bought a new GShock..."

Me: "No, no, that is a 'closet' watch."

I have many watches that live in the closet. They are my secret "these don't count" watches.

Wife: I thought you already had one like that.

Me: Ah, yes but this one...

Yes!  The ‘don’t count’ watches are a great idea 💡 .  

I’ve just self declared my new Ti Sakura Grand Seiko a ‘doesn’t count’ watch.   Yay!  Now I can buy another GS! 😃

I’m reducing down to just three watches. Well yes plus those ones and those ones. But literally I’ll have just about 30 watches.

If I buy 'that one' I will be content and won't buy any more watches

"Did you buy another watch?"

I am definitely going to use this the next time a lululemon box of leggings shows up at my house! 

Wife: How many watches to do need?

Me: How many pairs of shoes do you need?

Wife: Nevermind.  Carry on.

I wish I can use that but my SO is very minimalistic so I come off as being extravagant and wasteful I mean I only have a 10-watch collection I'm being extra frugal here.