Watch Collecting Lessons from an Orangutan
“Rolex — the watch of choice for all the world’s asses.”
Clarkson solemnly said as my uncle, a petrol-head who just bought a 1601, fell to his knees in front of the living room couch.
While his opinions stir up controversy more than any other car enthusiast — especially when it has nothing to do with cars — there is **a tiny, shining nugget of wisdom we ought to pay attention to when he does speak his passion.
Clarkson has a distinct perspective on intricate works of engineering. But unlike James May, who’s able to scientifically explain every microscopic detail of a Phillips screwdriver, Clarkson is able to see — and more importantly — explain how these artificial beings are closer to us than we realize.
Like any enthusiast, he can get obsessed with numbers. If the car has Bang & Olufsen speakers and it goes from 0-60 faster than it takes for a Romanian to nick your wallet (joke), he’s bound to grow a third leg.
But he’s never blinded by it; never in a rush to buy the latest and greatest. Purely because he prioritizes two things: emotion and personal value.
“I am aware that the numbers do add up, but like the Audi R8 or the Koenigsegg, sometimes these numbers add up to nothing. Sometimes there’s this unspoken, unexplainable reason that makes you love a virtually flawed car more than a virtually perfect one.” — Jeremy Clarkson on an interview with Hollywood star Eric Bana, 2013.
And luckily for us, this gravity-generating genius is also shown in his watch collection.
After some serious watch spotting, Clarkson dawns a lot of humongous timepieces. Though mostly for practical purposes — he’s taller than a palm tree and blind as a bat — so he goes for big dials and big legible numbers.
Whether it’s an IWC pilot, a Bremont ALT1-C, a Breitling Emergency II, or a U-BOAT Classico, you can’t deny his pattern: big means best.
However, it doesn’t mean he nonchalantly buys anything the size of a satellite dish — he also cares about personal history.
He’s most known for wearing Omegas, to the point where Top Gear fan forums even made them synonymous with each other. He’s particularly fond of the Railmaster XXL and the Seamaster Planet Ocean, two timeless pieces that has made repeated appearances throughout his TV career.
“I am an Omega man. I have worn a Seamaster for years, not because James Bond has one and not because Neil Armstrong wore something by the same maker on the moon but because on the day I went away to school my parents gave me a Genève Dynamic.” — Jeremy Clarkson on Times Online, 2010.
Let’s be honest, a man of his stature can easily horde all the Patek’s and Rolexes, but these brands — whether you like it or not — are popular because cocaine-sniffing watch snobs use them to boast their social status; ultimately painting both the brand and owners as wealthily untouchable.
Clarkson is well aware of that. He knows that some watches hold incredible history or a reputation that far exceeds any other watch — but he doesn’t care. If it doesn’t make his heart melt or skin crawl, its off the list.
And I think that’s something we all should remember: that your watch collection should be as personal as your diary. Your watches should not only represent unforgettable memories, but they should also reflect your personality.
And nobody could change that. Nobody but you.
Overall, I believe his philosophy is best described with the following quote:
“Some machines have it and others don’t: Soul. They take your breath away, and your heart beats a little faster just knowing that they exist. They might not be the fastest, most efficient, or best in their class — but they were designed and built by people who love them, and you can’t help but love them back.” — Jeremy Clarkson, 2008.
On a personal note, my favorite timepiece of his appeared only for a few minutes in what seems to be an on-the-fly YouTube video. It’s no other than the venerable G-Shock, or the black/white GAW-100B-7AER if you’d permit me to be precise (and a little pedantic).
If you happen to be a fan of the trio, check out the articles I wrote on the other two:
James May:
https://www.watchcrunch.com/dt1202/posts/the-most-uninteresting-interesting-man-in-the-world-217789
Richard Hammond:
https://www.watchcrunch.com/dt1202/posts/size-doesn-t-matter-literally-219212
Casio fanboy. Noob horologist. Sometimes I write articles about watches famous people wear.
Why being racist in an otherwise great piece of writing? Such a shame and disgrace….
Why being racist in an otherwise great piece of writing? Such a shame and disgrace….
It's both a recall to Clarkson's sarcastic comment on season 8 of Top Gear, and an inside joke to my personal experience of getting my wallet stolen in Romania.
That being said, I hold no grudges. I loved that place.
Nevertheless, in the current climate it is a shame to spice up a good story like this. I am of mixed race and living in the Netherlands. I am experiencing the revival of certain sentiments and very aware that it always is served either casual or humoristic. Normally Watchcrunch is a safe space for me.
Nevertheless, in the current climate it is a shame to spice up a good story like this. I am of mixed race and living in the Netherlands. I am experiencing the revival of certain sentiments and very aware that it always is served either casual or humoristic. Normally Watchcrunch is a safe space for me.
And it shall remain a safe space for you. I'm no stranger to racist remarks, but growing up with this show I have to admit I do laugh at some of the humor.
By no means am I attacking you or anyone. It's written as a joke, and I've given the context.
I appreciate the kind words btw!
Thanks, to me it’s clear that it is not meant as an attack and writing about Clarkson is in a way destined to get a bit controversial as that is 99% of his fame.
Thanks, to me it’s clear that it is not meant as an attack and writing about Clarkson is in a way destined to get a bit controversial as that is 99% of his fame.
Hahahaha I guess it just happens naturally the moment you write about him.
Excellent read! Cheers mate!
Excellent read! Cheers mate!
Thank you! 🙏
Good read, thanks 👍🏻👍🏻
Good read. Could have done without the racist joke.
Good read. Could have done without the racist joke.
Context is a few comments above
Thanks tho👍
Context is a few comments above
Thanks tho👍
I don't care for the context. I don't see any justification for racism, on a watch forum or anywhere else for that matter.
I don't care for the context. I don't see any justification for racism, on a watch forum or anywhere else for that matter.
Its not targeted for hatred, it's a humorous callback to the series. Romanian top gear fans loved it in the forum.
Everybody is racist, the same way we all breath air. This a fact. However, some hide it better than others. It's something we all just need to learn to live with.
(Staying on topic) Great piece! 💯
Everybody is racist, the same way we all breath air. This a fact. However, some hide it better than others. It's something we all just need to learn to live with.
Sorry, but I disagree with this conclusion.
You're absolutely right, we all develop inherent ignorance and bias. But the solution is not "just..learn to live with it".
Internal bias is something we should be aware of and challenge ourselves on.
Would it have been funny if he had said black, or Jewish? Because his experience had been different?
Considering the word that is casually being thrown around doesn't enter into it, mate. It's also, literally, a line from the mouth of the subject of the post.
Clarkson is a blunt tool - that's become his brand. Mindless "speed and power". Whilst mainly humorous, he can sometimes be deeply problematic. Misogynistic, belligerent and even violent when fuelled with alcohol.
I suspect he's far more of an ass than the Rolex owners he's conjuring up. I certainly haven't gotten drunk and punched an employee, then been fired for it and buggered up 100s of people's lives as a result.. but I do own an Explorer - so the chances are never zero..
Furthermore, I'd certainly take the advice of James May / Richard Hammond over Clarkson on anything mechanical or technical. I'd probably listen to Jeremy's advice on wine, but definitely not watches.
I agree that his character is worse than those he ridiculed, and his actions are far beyond any apology.
But I must admit, his ability to detect the soul of inanimate objects is one to strive for. Plus how he's so eloquent in describing it.
Great read! Humor reminds me of the old days of top gear! Good times!
It felt like trip down memory lane when I did the research
Romanian here, the joke was funny.
Glad to hear that
I shall name my first born Jeremy if it’s a boy… and I will name my first born Jeremy if it’s a girl… because that way they will grow up to be true geniuses
Considering the word that is casually being thrown around doesn't enter into it, mate. It's also, literally, a line from the mouth of the subject of the post.
I'm not sure what word you are talking about? Quoting a racist comment doesn't make it less racist. I'm not Romanian and didn't actually take offence to the comment or wish to speak for anyone that did. I didn't find it funny which although subjective is my opinion. I'm just wondering if he had stated black or Jewish would you have still found it funny?
I agree his joke was about a country not a race as they share genealogy with a lot of European countries. Context is everything and bruising sensibilities is seldom the aim here and more accidental.
As a fellow fan, it was a pleasure to write this. Thank you!
It was great show from a different time.
Intensely flawed, yet intensely beautiful!
For anyone reflecting back using “modern” standards, yep it was an offensive show (speaking as a brown person) and yet it was also a great series 👏
Not too dissimilar when people ask was Abraham Lincoln a Racist!? The answer yey or nay does not negate the success of the person.
Good day to all ✌️
I'm not sure what word you are talking about? Quoting a racist comment doesn't make it less racist. I'm not Romanian and didn't actually take offence to the comment or wish to speak for anyone that did. I didn't find it funny which although subjective is my opinion. I'm just wondering if he had stated black or Jewish would you have still found it funny?
Yes
The word “racism” is so misused that now when I see it leveled in an accusation I simply dismiss the user and move on.
Ofcourse you do……
It's both a recall to Clarkson's sarcastic comment on season 8 of Top Gear, and an inside joke to my personal experience of getting my wallet stolen in Romania.
That being said, I hold no grudges. I loved that place.
Wow quite the stir….😁but about the g-shock; you sure it isn’t a GA-110GW-7A?
Hesitant for a moment to like this post, as it was on 69. But gave it a thumbs up anyway since it's a good read!
On the controversy above; I just think everyone's so sensitive about everything nowadays. I joke around about ethnicity all the time with my friends and we're closer because of it. But for those who condemn it, you do you. Have a great life, everybody!
Sorry, but I disagree with this conclusion.
You're absolutely right, we all develop inherent ignorance and bias. But the solution is not "just..learn to live with it".
Internal bias is something we should be aware of and challenge ourselves on.
We are already aware of it and nothing can be done about it. Humans belong to the animal phylum (known as chordates) and even though we have the ability of complex reasoning, advanced language, and the capacity to solve difficult problems...we are still animals and as such we have natural 'biases'. - "Birds of a feather flock together". Asking people to 'challenge' themselves on this is like asking a bird not to spread his wings and fly. It's simply not going to happen. Every single facet of our life is based on being biased. When you buy a plane ticket, you don't want to sit next to an overweight person. That's bias. When you buy a home, you don't want to live a neighborhood with high crime. That's bias. When you go out to dinner, you go to the place where you like the food - that's bias. These naturally occurring biases will always negatively affect certain demographics of people. In fact, the entire real estate tax structure is 100% biased across all countries and continents. It's based on the ability to afford to live in a 'good' neighborhood so you don't have to live amongst the homeless, wretched and dispossessed. If you can't afford the high taxes, then you are stuck living with people that you don't want to live with. Recently, former CNN host Don Lemon married Tim Malone who is successful, fit, educated, white and rich. Should Don Lemon have challenged himself and said "hmm...maybe I should really marry a fat, unsuccessful, poor black woman with three kids and move to the ghetto". Good luck convincing him- it's never going to happen. In conclusion, you can't fix this because it's not broken, it's just how we are wired. Learn to live with it because no DEI program in the world will ever change it.
Wow quite the stir….😁but about the g-shock; you sure it isn’t a GA-110GW-7A?
You might be correct on that one — I always get the codes and numbers mixed up 😂