PSA: It's too late for me, but maybe not for you

Seikosis (sehi-koh-siss): an advanced condition primarily caused by the overconsumption of a common Japanese watch brand. Subjects suffering from Seikosis can be commonly seen wearing professional diving watches and pointing their wrists towards the sun immediately before imploring strangers to notice their time pieces.

The primary cause of the disease is unknown but has been loosely linked to the widespread availability of affordable Japanese watches in the 1970's up until the early 2000's. Early cases were reported in North America when the term "desk diver" became common amongst local users who owned more than one watch at a time.

Symptoms include an abnormal obsession with natural landscapes as well as an increased ability to tolerate uncomfortable wrist bracelets. In severe cases subjects can be observed talking to themselves or randomly bursting out phrases such as "the trick is in the electromagnetic braking..." or "it's all about the dial!" Advanced users are also known to consume more expensive alternatives branded with additional qualifiers such as 'Grand' or 'King' purposely meant to confuse the public.

Seikosis is commonly confused with Seikoholism. It should be noted however that Seikoholics are addicted consumers who use wrist watches as a form of escapism while those suffering from Seikosis have lost all sense of reality. While Seikoholism is treatable there is no known cure for Seikosis.

If you or a loved one are suffering from symptoms please reach out to your local electronics department store and purchase the latest Apple Watch. Outreach programs for at-risk youth are also available such as PAZP - Parents Against Zaratsu Polishing.

Related Articles:

  • Rolexsphia

  • Tudorculosis

  • Omegastritis

  • Breitlingament Tearing

  • Microbrandphilia

  • Casiorectomy

Reply
·

I definitely have moderate to severe Seikosis and have not responded to any treatments so far.

·

Hahahaha! I appear to have a case of Seikoholism that is advancing towards Seikosis.

·

Is having seven of the said japanese watches BAD? Like too late for vaccine bad?

·

Does this make you Seikotic? Do you need to see a Seikologist or a Seiko-atrist?

·
Image
·
Image
Image
·

Don’t worry, I always have protection…

Image
·

Understood,I used to be a seikopath.I am now cured.

·

Still, better to have a mild Seikosis than to endure a casiorectomy.

·

"IT'S ALL ABOUT THE DIAL!!!!!" Omg this is soooooo spot on hahahahahahahaha

·

I had a bad case of Seikosis. One session of MonOmegascopy cured it for good 😂

·

Casiorectomy sounds petty bad 😂

·

I have acute seikosis. Will be looking for professional help next year, hopefully my graduation watch will be my first swisspirin.

·

Not sure what I might be but out of sight of these is a grand seiko and a lovely quartz from the late 80’s 🤷‍♂️

Image
·

I have Seikolism for sure, although my last two purchases have been a Seiko’s; I am still getting some Microbrandphilia fever.

·

Fantastic ! I’m one !! 😜

·

People that don't collect anything are not as interesting as those who do.

One of my favorite things about Seiko is, that not much they do seems to make any sense. They're just driven to crank out as many different watches as they can. I have 13 of them, priced from $60 (SGEH79P1) to $180 (SRPD59) so I'm definitely embracing the chaos.

PS Really enjoyed your post. And it's spawned some really humorous responses. And those related articles look interesting too!