Porthole don’t want peace, only problems… Volume 1

@CharlieDub wants me to give comment on his SOTC.

I mean, I almost cannot be bothered… this is so safe it might as well be marketed by Durex.

It’s like if one was to pick a “collection” through everyone’s ramblings on here, this is literally what you would get. A watch collection voted for by committee. If this collection was an ice cream flavour, it would be vanilla. You’re missing a Tudor and a Christopher Ward, and then we can complete WC bingo, and take home that microwave Mavis on Table 12 has been eyeing up all evening.

Seiko - check

Sinn - two - check. Do you constantly bang on about German watch quality? Have your family stopped inviting you for Sunday dinner as a result?

Oris - check

some sort of Omega - luxury check. At least it’s not a Bond one.

a microbrand - Lorier <groan> - other brands are available people. Bonus points for asking people whether you should buy it or a Seiko Speetimer, but that’s essentially asking if you’d rather be shot or hung.

a Casio - a CasioOak no less - a Casio pretending to be something else, wahey! God Tier, but needs help achieving enlightenment. False prophet.

The Orient is a miss - but hey, I’m guessing you started with that “as your first mechanical” and then thought you’d “upgrade” to the Seiko. How typical. I’m guessing you stopped using your Amazon wishlist at that point to plan your collection, and started using WC instead. Let me guess, you’ve got a CW The Twelve in-bound and dream of Tudor Rangers?

So, I’m sensing the lack of a proper dress watch implies you are too rugged to invite anywhere nice? I suppose you carry a knife with you anywhere (CostCo too violent these days?), and a rope? Your F-150 too big to valet park? Is it difficult to tie a cravat around your neck because of your Viking-esque beard? Unless you can cremate food over a fire, everything else is considered a vegetable, which you don’t eat? Do you own proper dress shoes or does everything you have involve Gore-Tex?

Bronze Oris - I can smell that from here.

I’m disappointed that none of your watches have compass bezels. You obviously use a smart phone to navigate - which means you should rescind your Scout badges.

(Caveat - this was requested, and is clearly in jest.

Very nice collection - carry on!

If you want a de-influence, drop me a line

Lots of love

@Porthole)