I started my new job as a Rolex Spotter today

So, yeah, after seeing this totes amazeballs job recruitment commercial on the telly called "Hunting The Rolex Rippers", I immediately jumped on a train to London to join the gang.

It took a few hours, but once I started hanging around the tower blocks in Peckham, the Rolex Rippers soon found me. I'm not sure if being called so many nasty names and being beaten to a pulp is just their jokey way of interviewing in London, but after giving them all my money and telling them how much I know about watches, they said I could work for them if I wanted to.

My new boss is called "R" which I assume stands for"Rolex Ripper" and not Robert. He's decided that my new nickname begins with a "C". I'm not sure if I like it or not yet.

Anyway, my first mission was to hang out in McDonald's all day spotting luxury watches for the gang. I'm not sure why they took all my clothes first and made me dress like a schoolgirl, but again, London people have their own ways of doing things, I suppose. They seemed to find it very funny though, and I do like to see people happy.

They gave me an old Nokia phone which they said was a "burner". I don't know what that means, but it sounds kind of hot and dangerous. Oh boy, I'm living the dream!

I've now been sitting in McDonald's spotting watches for 14 hours. My clever trick was to ask other customers what the time is so I can see what they are wearing on their wrists. I'm not sure if these people are all liars or comedians though because every time I ask them what the time is they give me a different answer! London people, eh?

I've sent lots of text messages to "R" telling him about all the fancy watches I've spotted such as a Rolex Seamaster and an Omega Black Bay, and a description of the person wearing it, but for some reason he just texts back, "Hahahaha" every time. Well, not every time. He keeps swearing at me and telling me he knows where I live for some reason too.

I'm not even sure what the gang will do with this information. I assume they are going to wait for the guy wearing the watch to leave the restaurant, ask if they can see it, and make a note of it in a little book like trainspotters do. Maybe they'll take a picture of it with their iPhones or film a little video for YouTube. I love my new job and my new gang of friends. I do wonder how they make money from this?

I'm probably going to go home in a few more hours. I've already eaten 27 Happy Meals, and the staff are starting to get suspicious. I've had the same My Little Pony toy 5 times in a row, and that's really annoying.

I really need the toilet too now, but "R" said he'd "give me a slap" if I didn't watch people all day, and he can slap you really hard, you know, which is quite surprising for a 9-year-old, I must say.

I can't wait to get back to WatchCrunch to tell everyone about my adventures in London. I didn't see any scooters anywhere, but I did almost get knocked down by a Deliveroo rider on a Fixie at one point which was so exciting, and there were a lot of very shouty people protesting about things which I don't understand everywhere.

I'm not sure if I like London as much as I thought I would, but I love my new job. Nobody told me when I'm getting paid for all this hard work though. I must ask "R" about that later, although now he's not answering my texts anymore, and there's a police car with the blue lights flashing pulling up outside...