Welcome and welcome back! If you're new here, I'm exploring the 20 best-selling watch brands of 2022 (as seen on GQ Australia) and answering the question: If I could only have one watch from this brand FOREVER, which would I pick?
Today we are looking at Richard Mille, but if you want to see my previous article where I covered Tissot, follow #defsoneanddone or click the link here!
A lot of sex talk in this one. Just so you know.
You know the old saying: When life gives you lemons, maybe a million or so lemons, put those lemons in a briefcase, walk over to your nearest AD, and use those lemons to buy yourself a ridiculous sex watch.
If I had a nickel for how many luxury watch brands this saying is true for, I would have two...
But of course, we’re not here to talk about the perverts over at Ulysse Nardin.
For reasons, I will not reveal that user unless they wish to do so themselves. Disclaimer – I found the comment tremendously funny. Please put it back.
I don’t think any company exemplifies this as much as Richard Mille, whose very nature relies on pushing the ever-expanding boundaries of horological audacity for no good reason other than “just because.” And no watch has ever, or will ever, take the term “horological masturbation” as literally as the affectionately named-
#7: Richard Mille – RM69 Erotic Tourbillon
This article will get banned. I just know it. But there are so many sex things here, it’s way too hard to avoid at this point.
Given Richard Mille’s reputation, and a name like that, you already know you’re in for a wild ride. It’s the timepiece that will make both the layman and the seasoned enthusiast’s jaws drop to the floor – perhaps in amazement and wonder, but mostly because they are thinking, "What the hell is that thing?"
At a very subtle and understated 50mm x 42mm and 16mm thick, the RM69 is a bold, titanium-clad declaration of carnal desires, as if the energy from the song Outside by George Michael was constantly emanating from this timepiece. The dial proudly showcases three rotating panels that display an array of suggestive and intimate phrases, leaving nothing to the imagination – these range from the more romantic “I want to kiss you tonight” all the way to, well…
It’s easy to forget, that with a timepiece as ostentatious and outrageous as this one, Richard Mille still takes their haute horlogerie deadly seriously. Powered by a manual wind calibre of the same name, the RM69’s manufacture movement provides an incredibly precise and tremendously stupid 69 hours of power reserve, accompanied by an unusually subtle power reserve indicator at 4 o’clock. Another easy factor to forget here is the tourbillon at the 6, built and finished to the astronomical standards that are staples of Richard Mille’s dedication to both bold design and mechanical ingenuity.
Understandably, there are those that believe that this timepiece, and perhaps all of Richard Mille’s roster, has a deep reliance on shock value and the aforementioned “horological masturbation,” and is therefore unsuitable and unwelcome in the world of haute horlogerie. However, those who doubt Richard Mille’s savoir-faire need to remember that the creation of a watch is the place where ruthless mechanics and calculation meets the unlimited creative forces of imagination. In both fields, we cannot help but push the limits and test societal norms. It’s a form of expression, no matter how partial or impartial you may feel about it, and it is a form that must be respected.
I mean, remember when we would burn women alive for daring to show their ankles? Or that we were only allowed to create paintings that were as realistic as possible? Or that it was impossible to put a man on the Moon? Omega can talk to you about that last one.
I guess if you ever won the lottery, invested in the next big thing or became Drake’s spouse, and you want to inject a sense of fun, bold desire, and the most intense “f**k you, I have way too much money” into your collection, I highly suggest you direct yourself towards the RM69. A ruthlessly engineered timepiece that leaves a lasting impression, it is guaranteed to make you come… back for more.
I can understand watches costing 100k€, even 1 million€, but Richard Milles are just plain ugly.
To each their own, of course, but similarly to the point I made in the Panerai post I made, there is nothing quite like the RM. Design wise is arguable, but technologically they absolutely dominate the forefront of ruthless innovation, and very much deserve their flowers in the horological world.
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I can understand watches costing 100k€, even 1 million€, but Richard Milles are just plain ugly.
I can understand watches costing 100k€, even 1 million€, but Richard Milles are just plain ugly.
To each their own, of course, but similarly to the point I made in the Panerai post I made, there is nothing quite like the RM. Design wise is arguable, but technologically they absolutely dominate the forefront of ruthless innovation, and very much deserve their flowers in the horological world.