What's your conversation starter watch? (Showing off my pièce unique)

This is my custom, pièce unique watch. It's the Kienzle alarm super manual wind by R. Schwartz. It boasts more functions than anyone could ever ask for, with a minutes hand, an hour hand and an alarm. The alarm comes custom designed with a worn mainspring, a feature ensuring that the alarm doesn't go off for very long, lest it irritate you. It has classic vintage proportions, with 55mm lug to lug, an integrated expandable bracelet, 23mm thickness, and 80mm diameter. It is a square case, so diameter isn't really the way to measure it. It has equal sides of 55mm, making it more of a watch than the Cartier Tank, Santos, or JLC Reverso. It has elegant, art-deco-style wire lugs (literally) that were hand crafted by our master craftsman and watchmaker using the finest of tools (a dirty Leatherman Wingman.)

It ticks loudly, as do all high-quality watches, so that the wearer knows that it's running without needing a running seconds hand, which would corrupt the elegant and simple dial. Lume works mostly on the hands, because this watch is only for the intelligent, who look at indices and say, "nah." Because this is a dress watch, it is only water resistant to excess humidity, approximately 0,2 ATM. It is not COSC certified, because that's for poor people with Rolexes. It is instead certified by our independent expert guaranteeing an accuracy of ±2 minutes a day. I have friends with Rolexes that run worse than that. This watch is not shock protected, because our clientele are richer, smarter, and more civilised than to engage in any activities that would subject their body and timepiece to excess wear. It is antimagnetic to about a million Gauss (I don't know how much that is, but you could maybe hold a fridge magnet against it.) The bracelet is odour resistant and sized for each customer, well, I am the only customer, because it's a pièce unique, so it's sized for my wrists. The case, crystal, and movement are proudly German-made and are the last word in quality. In fact, the movement is so beautifully finished, looking at it blinded our previous master craftsman. Looking at the movement is illegal in some countries (Ecuador, The United States, The United Kingdom, Brazil, Morocco, and Lithuania) because it's beauty is so extreme that many governments believe it to encourage terrorism and political extremism, hence, I cannot display pictures. The case shape is also inspired by feminine curves and was thus deemed pornography and outlawed by the Iranian government. Included in this package is a synthetic leather travel pouch, when the wearer wants to protect this priceless timepiece while they wear their other haute-horology pieces, like a Seiko 5 or Casio.

With that long-winded advertisement out of the way, what's your conversation-starter watch? It's probably been asked before, but you may have guessed that this post was just a sneaky way for me to brag about my alarm clock that I fastened an old bracelet to.